Save yourself instead

i am awoken from bed

3 am. From cities i try and sleep off

exactly a year ago

(what a mess)

i almost called you my wife

but a year in strife

and silence

could never escape the sex

in our violence

what to do now?

Smoke another cigarette

one for every regret

ill have cancer by the morning

stepping outside

i will look up

thinking, man, those stars must be lonely

so far away

but i realize i am only looking from my shoes

and who am i to say how one feels

never mind and object of nuclear mass

that far surpasses the small flint i possess

I’m obsessed with pretty faces

from broken homes with untied shoe laces

who trip when the try to keep up

I’m Sorry darling, good luck

i don’t mean to leave you in the muck

but i got to keep on trucking

you will understand some day

and apologize